it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
