If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
