What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Never underestimate the power of titties
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
