Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
