To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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