I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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