It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
