WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
