Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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