I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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