i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
