I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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