I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
