when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
