I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
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I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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