Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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