Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
