my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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