I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
