Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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