she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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