To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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