i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
