YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize