Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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