Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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