i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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