I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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