we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
