I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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