Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
