I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
