thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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