I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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