just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The ass gains better be worth it
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