none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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