thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have fence marks all over my body
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
