I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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