Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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