So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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