I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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