Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
