the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
as a side note pls kill me
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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