is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
