Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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