If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wish I only lived at night.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
