Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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