i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize