what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
