Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
