I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
