With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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