The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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