She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
