brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
