Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
