So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
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