its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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